end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
so explain again why im purple
no
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
