eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
