i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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