Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
