is your mom at the bar?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize