Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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