he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
