highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
