I wannas sexs uuuuu
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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