No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Randomize
