you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
