very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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