My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
