I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
