I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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