Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
