I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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