he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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