shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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