I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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