He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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