I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
