Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
