so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
