oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I stole a fireplace last night.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
