he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
