I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It all started with a game of naked twister.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
