WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize