They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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