; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
