I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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