i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
