D3 body, D1 cock
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The air taste purple.
Randomize
