it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
whose parrot is this?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize