i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
