fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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