I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
