Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
