Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
