Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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