I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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