my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
