I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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