i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
