I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize