:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
