I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
