nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
