I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
