Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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