How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
