What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
