who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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