His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just cropdusted the office
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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