we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize