It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
