Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize