I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
