listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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