He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
