I must be too annoying 4 u.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize