Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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