you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Randomize
