ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
