oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
