I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
