Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
