Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
