Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
