some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
