Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
