we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
