Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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