Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
