I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
