I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
