this just has baby written all over it
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
