Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
