I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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