at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
