do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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